Kinky Failure
by Roxius
Summary: Almaz decides to get Rasberyl's help in going on a date with Sapphire...by having the little demon girl ask for him! Obviously, it still won't end well. Shoujo ai, yuri, lesbians. Please R & R! Sort of a sequel to 'Spiraling Raven'.


A/N: Sort of a sequel to 'Spiraling Raven' and that KyokoXAsuka fic of mine, but not really. Also...MORE YURI!!1!

* * *

'I'm probably gonna regret this...' the Fake Hero thought to himself as he neared the room where Rasberyl and her two 'henchmen' were supposedly doing clean-up.

After being turned down by Princess Sapphire for the tenth time in the last three days, Almaz was about ready to give up on ever finding love. However, then he came up with the idea that maybe it would be better if he had SOMEONE ELSE ask her out onto a date with him.

It was worth a try, right?

Slowly opening the door, Almaz peeked inside; sure enough, he saw Rasberyl, Kyoko and Asuka busy mopping up the floor. As she stuck the mop back into the bucket, Rasberyl nodded and exclaimed, "Alright, good work, team! This place is now completely spotless!"

"THANK YOU, M'LADY! T'WAS EASY!" Kyoko and Asuka both replied loudly, bowing in the process.

Stepping inside, Almaz rapped his fist lightly on the door and stammered, "U...Uh...hello, girls...how are you today?"

"Oh! Hello, Fake Hero! How are you today? What can we do for you?" Rasberyl asked cheerfully.

'...I really wished she'd stop calling me Fake Hero...' Almaz thought as he tried to think of how to explain his situation.

"Y...You see, I really want to go out with Princess Sapphire, because she's so sweet and beautiful and everything...but she always rejects me. I was thinking...maybe YOU could ask her out on a date with me instead?...H-How about it?"

Rasberyl blinked a few times...then she sighed. "...Huh? C'mon, Fake Hero...why are you getting us involved with your love life? I mean, no offense, but...we could be busy saving kittens and restoring peoples' faith in Christianity, yet you're here asking us to help you get in Sapphire's panties! I'm sorry...but I can't, okay?"

With that said, Rasberyl nodded to her two cronies and they began to set off to perform more good deeds. Cursing his terrible luck, Almaz was about to leave...when an idea came to him. Smirking, he turned to Rasberyl and, her back turned to him, he said, "That's weird, Rasberyl...I always thought you were the Number 1 delinquent...I guess I was wrong, huh?"

Rasberyl froze in her tracks. Slowly turning her head, she replied, "What...do...you...mean?!"

Still smirking, Almaz shrugged and explained, "Well, it's just...helping two people get together in eternal love is probably one of the NICEST, most KIND things a demon could do, correct? I just figured, since you're always so determined to be the ultimate delinquent badass, you would accept such a request. Alas, it was my mistake to have believed you were up for such a task..."

Rasberyl thought about it for a moment. "Kyoko...calculate it! Now!" she snapped without taking her eyes off of Almaz.

Pulling out a demonic-looking calculator with a cackling face, Kyoko punched in a series of numbers and equations at a frantic speed. After about a minute, she came to a conclusion: "Indeed, m'lady, it seems helping the Fake Hero here form a romantic relationship with Princess Sapphire will score us more 'delinquent points' than saving kittens or converting people..."

Rasberyl sighed and muttered, "Fine...I guess we'll help you then..."

'Wow...I didn't know they actually graded their delinquency by points...' thought Almaz.

* * *

As Almaz and the three delinquents walked around the school searing for Princess Sapphire, Rasberyl glanced up at Almaz and asked, "Alright! What do you need us to do exactly?"

"Well," Almaz replied, scratching his cheek, "I was wondering...if you could just coax her into going on a date with me, but not by being direct...you need to be 'hard-to-get', right?"

"Uh...I'm not the one asking her out, ya know."

"Yeah, but...don't actually tell her it's me who wants to go out with her. Okay?!"

"Fine, fine...geez..."

Eventually, the group found Princess Sapphire just hanging around with a bored look on her face. This was surprising, as she was usually always busy with something, mainly beating up demons looking for a fight, but whatever.

Jumping behind a pillar, Almaz pushed Rasberyl forward and whispered, "Good luck out there! And...remember...don't tell her I'm the one who wants to go out with her!"

Sighing, Rasberyl nodded in response and made her way over to Sapphire. Taking a seat next to her, Rasberyl was silent for a few moments and then spoke up, "...Beautiful day, isn't it, Princess?"

"Oh, hello, Lady Beryl. Yes...it is quite lovely, even considering the fact that we're living in the very pits of the flaming hell..." Sapphire remarked in a rather bitchy tone.

Coughing into her fist, Rasberyl decided to get straight to the point: "Princess Sapphire, um...there's someone...a good friend of mine, actually...who...uh...wants to go out with you..."

'Argh! It's so hard thinking of things to say without really giving away who the person is!'

Princess Sapphire smiled slightly and replied, "Really? Who...might this person be?" She even leaned in close as she asked this question, her breath now brushing against's Rasberyl's skin.

Rasberyl found herself feeling flustered as she said, "Well, uh...he's...kind, a bit clumsy and absent-minded, and he's not the bravest fellow, but...he's a good person and he really likes you...so...err...he wants you to go out with him?"

Her smile growing wider, Sapphire pressed herself up against Rasberyl so close that the little demon girl fell over on her back, with the princess lying right on top of her. "Does this person you're speaking about...happen to actually be a young demon girl who dreams of being the top delinquent?"

Rasberyl blushed and replied, "Uh...not really. It's a guy...like I already told you."

It appeared that Sapphire had ignored her, as she then said, "Since I've always been so busy, fighting demons and protecting my kingdom, I've never really thought about my personal, sex life. I mean...I think I'm probably just bisexual, but I am still very impressed by you asking me out like that, even though you tried to make it seem like a silly MAN was interested in me; I've never been asked out before, you know...plus, you're cute."

'...IS THAT BITCH FUCKIN' SERIOUS?' Almaz thought to himself as he watched this whole scene unfold.

Rasberyl struggled to break free, but Sapphire was much stronger than her. "Please...can't I just leave with my dignity at least."

"Not. A. Chance. I want you, Rasberyl." Then, Sapphire brought her lips crashing against Rasberyl's. As their kisses grew deeper, Rasberyl found herself actually enjoying it. Soon, it was all about the tongues, clashing violently against one another in their mouths."By the way...I'll go out with you."

Kyoko and Asuka both gasped and their faces became bright red in embarrassment. 'Wow...I didn't know m'lady was just like US...awesome...' They both thought before engaging in a make-out session as well.

Almaz, however, was furious with the result. "I'm gonna go play Elite Beat Agents...and forget this crap!"

...And, that's exactly what he did. However, he broke down into sobs when he got to the 'Sk8er Boi' level...but Mao was there to "comfort" him.

"Uh...Master Mao? Why are you-"

"Shush. Just be quiet...and enjoy it. Heh heh heh..."

'Eww...he's drooling again...'


End file.
